向北緩行的電車裡，旅客不疏不密的面對面坐著，分據兩行共四節車廂。
在大眾交通工具裡面對面坐著，不是低頭打盹、閱讀，就是閉目養神，偶而偷偷打量坐在對面的陌生人，偶有眼神交會，通常避之唯恐不急。
我通常毫不避諱，大方欣賞形形色色的人物，甚至就速寫起來。
有一次，一對情侶在我正對面聊天，女的長相普通，戴著金邊眼鏡的臉有些圓胖油亮，雙手不停在空中筆劃，滔滔不絕的說話。身旁的男人倒是相當英俊，他一手圍在女人的肩上，一手捧著一袋鹽酥雞，指頭上還勾著兩杯飲料，微笑著專心聽女人說故事。我把這幅圖畫在大學同學送的筆記本上，在畫的同時，引起身旁年輕男子探頭探腦的好奇心，我跟他有一搭沒一搭的聊天，直到下車為止。
大多數人發現自己被觀看時會有些不自在，在做這樣的人物速寫時，我總要非常小心隱藏自己的眼神。
這天下午，在這條熟悉的火車路線，我的對面坐了一對父子，父親應該不到卅五，身旁的小男孩了不起二歲，小小圓圓的臉上兩顆黑不溜丟的明亮眼睛迎上我的目光，他微微的笑了，帶點兒羞赧，卻也豪不畏懼，就這麼和我四目對望，小小的身體挨著父親磨來蹭去。他的父親將他抱在胸前，讓他岔開雙腿坐在膝上，溫柔而緩慢的替他脫鞋，一隻，一雙，放在自己的雙腳下，和喝完的牛奶盒並排。小男孩滑下來，回到原來的坐姿，一樣帶著微笑，靠著父親，望著我。
一個不該在此時出現的念頭閃過，我知道自己又記起那該放手的回憶，隨著回憶的泉源，淚水也無聲的從眼眶裡湧出，我撇開頭，任淚水滑落，在面對面而坐的車箱裡，我還沒有任人欣賞哭泣的勇氣。當我快速整理好自己，回過頭去，那個小男孩靠著父親，口中喃喃著練習「爸爸，爸爸」，男人將頭向後靠著，閉著眼睛，陽光從他倆後方而來，將他們一起染上溫暖的色塊。
如果，當時我們沒有分手，如今......
我在心裡悄悄低語，不願說出口而讓魔鬼偷去。
2007年9月3日 星期一
Sep the 3rd.
Today, my gf and I went shopping in a posh department store.
We bought cosmetics and bra.
This is my first time sharing exactly the same kind of product with my lover.
Yes, she is my first girl friend.
You know what I mean.
Before, I had a serious relationship with an English boy.
Others are short term ones and some one night thing.
Yeah female bodies are attractive but falling in love is another story.
She's a great person.
She loves me very much.
She's cute.
She's sweet.
She gets wet so easily.
In side her soul, there's a little boy.
It has been already quite a while since we are together.
I didn't know we have a bunch of common friends and they gossip about us.
I start to feel the pressure.
I usually try to get back my hands, fingers from her hands.
Because I don't want more gossip.
I stop her touching, too.
Because it's tickle.
I love her company.
I feel calm when she's around.
I love talking with her.
I feel myself being understood.
I love her jokes.
I feel relaxing while laughing out with her.
She pointed that light pink bra, " This one."
She said,"It looks like the H brand strawberry ice cream."
The sales should smell a thing.
Yes, that colour is cute and fits me as well.
But I picked the other one, bloody red.
I hope she's happy.
We bought cosmetics and bra.
This is my first time sharing exactly the same kind of product with my lover.
Yes, she is my first girl friend.
You know what I mean.
Before, I had a serious relationship with an English boy.
Others are short term ones and some one night thing.
Yeah female bodies are attractive but falling in love is another story.
She's a great person.
She loves me very much.
She's cute.
She's sweet.
She gets wet so easily.
In side her soul, there's a little boy.
It has been already quite a while since we are together.
I didn't know we have a bunch of common friends and they gossip about us.
I start to feel the pressure.
I usually try to get back my hands, fingers from her hands.
Because I don't want more gossip.
I stop her touching, too.
Because it's tickle.
I love her company.
I feel calm when she's around.
I love talking with her.
I feel myself being understood.
I love her jokes.
I feel relaxing while laughing out with her.
She pointed that light pink bra, " This one."
She said,"It looks like the H brand strawberry ice cream."
The sales should smell a thing.
Yes, that colour is cute and fits me as well.
But I picked the other one, bloody red.
I hope she's happy.
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